Shallow Water
by myladymage
Summary: Arya Trevelyan is from a family devoted to the chantry. When signs of magic appeared she was sent to the Circle and it's not the picture the chantry painted. (Background story for Arya Trevelyan- events prior to Inquisition.)
1. Prologue: Cursed In Their Eyes

**Prologue: Cursed In Their Eyes**

Sunlight beamed down unto the courtyard. Beads of sweat slid down the faces of Templars, knights, and priests alike. Swords clashed against each other while prayers could be heard in the distance. Insects crawled over the blooming flowers and birds flew overhead. It was busy, yet peaceful at the same time.

Bann Trevelyan graciously invited those who served the chantry to his home frequently. His sons and only daughter would one day serve the Maker just like his guests. It was always expected of a Trevelyan. Religion was burned into their minds from the start and rarely did one stray. It was a comfortable lifestyle to them.

One of the older Templars had promised to oversee the daughter's training and it was that time of day again. Picking up one of the wooden swords he approached the young girl while she was hunched over her religious studies. He held the sword out to her, "Ready for battle, my lady?"

Arya Trevelyan closed the book she had been reading and grinned, "Yes!"

He had to be gentle since she was eight. Children that age got carried away, but they couldn't handle a true blow from a Templar. The wooden sword would go flying and so would the child's temper. That was one reason younger Templars didn't train the Trevelyans. Younger Templars got carried away much like the children.

She landed a strong blow against his wooden sword. The moment he returned a blow she parried. She had clearly learned much from her previous lessons. He tried to hide his shock; her brothers had not learned so quickly.

He struck another blow and she ducked. Within that second she slammed the sword against his knees. It would have been more painful he hadn't been wearing armor, but the vibration wasn't pleasant either. Ignoring the unpleasant feeling, he hit the side of her arm as she retracted from her attack position. She scowled and felt a sting forming.

She wouldn't let him have victory. Each successful strike would earn him a more challenging opponent. She aimed to win. He aimed to win. It would be a long practice considering both parties were stubborn with the same objective.

* * *

><p>An hour had passed before either of them had grown weary. His attacks were slower and her mind seemed to be elsewhere. A crowd of Templars had gathered around to watch since their practice had ended. Her defenses were still phenomenal; trying to find a way to knock the sword out of her hand was a difficult task.<p>

Her ice blue eyes watched each of his movements carefully. She measured his footsteps, watched his body language for signs of attack. She wasn't going to allow him victory. One day she would truly be a dangerous opponent, especially feared if she chose the Templar route. Her father would be proud.

Arya lunged again, but this time the sword slipped from her grasp due to the sweat covering her hands. The Templar hadn't noticed in time. His sword was still coming down upon her. It might have been wooden, but it would still hurt. She held her arms up in an attempt to block and protect her from the blow. The sword never hit and she heard gasps from various people.

She slowly opened her eyes to see a wall of ice between her and her opponent. Fear suddenly clutched her heart. Ice seemed to form in her stomach, colder than the ice wall before her. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes as she tried to hold them back. There was only one way that wall got there and she knew what that meant for her.

Suddenly hands clad in hot metal grabbed her by the arms. She was lifted from the ground and silently carried from the courtyard. She hung her head in shame and willingly let them take her away. It was a useless fight when everyone around served the chantry. Templars were no longer her friends. She would never serve the chantry. She would never see her family again. The tears finally fell.

* * *

><p>Bann Trevelyan leaned back in his chair. He was stunned. How had something like this have happened?Magic hadn't been in the family for ages. Why would it suddenly appear again? He didn't know, but he knew he had lost his only daughter. His wife had broken down into hysterics and the chantry sisters had led her away to comfort her.<p>

The Templar who had been sparring with her gave a look of sympathy, "I'm sorry for your loss, my lord. I'm sure they'll watch over her in the Circle."

He didn't say anything. He was afraid to know how they were going to watch over her. Would she get better treatment like most noble's children did? He hoped that would be the case. Perhaps she would learn to control her magic. Why had she been cursed? The idea angered him.

"My little girl cursed by the Maker. Why has such a thing happened?" He questioned aloud with bitterness in his tone.

"I don't know, my lord, but it is her punishment. It is not yours." One of the Templars assured him.

He dismissed them to be alone with his thoughts. There was an emptiness inside him. He buried his face in his hands and let the rage boil over him.


	2. Chapter One: Confession

**Chapter One: Confession**

Reflections never seemed accurate. Ice blue eyes stared back at her, but no longer with fear and tears. They no longer held the wide-eyed innocence; they were narrowed with the torture and death she'd seen. Long, dark brown curls fell to her shoulders and surrounded her long face. Thin lips curved into a smile that simply made her nose look smaller. It had been eight years and nothing felt the same when she looked into the mirror. It was as if she'd become a different person, which in a way she had, of course.

The elven girl, Audrey, came up behind her. She was different than Arya in every way. Her pale skin plastered in freckles, straight hair of the brightest red, and orbs of green. She never smiled either. "If we don't get to the library soon we'll fall behind on our studies. Studying yourself isn't exactly what the Circle considers a subject."

Arya laughed, "Perhaps they should. I could pass that easily."

Audrey rolled her eyes, "That's exactly the sort of talk that gets you into trouble. You'd probably be dead if it weren't for your noble blood."

The humor faded from her immediately, "I'm only surprised they remember my heritage. I guess close ties do that though."

"Don't look like someone kicked your puppy, just come on. I need to get more studying done and I don't want to go alone." The other girl responded hesitantly.

That was odd for Audrey. She liked to be left alone most of the time; typically she had an attitude about being bothered. Arya decided not to question it and followed the other girl to the library. Maybe she would open up. Maybe not.

* * *

><p>They'd taken a table in an isolated corner. Shelves towered all around them; some books were dusty or torn and others were neat and polished. Arya had taken one of the dusty ones and kept running her fingers over the pages. Dust slid off onto the table which resulted in glaring from Audrey constantly. Eventually she just got exasperated, "Will you please stop?"<p>

Arya held up her hands, "Sorry. I couldn't see the words. I really couldn't see if it weren't for the chandeliers. Why do you think they decided against windows?"

"Probably to keep people from jumping out of them. Why do you always have to talk so much and change the topic while you're at it?" She responded heatedly.

"What in the Maker's name is wrong with you today?" Arya blurted. She was getting tired of the random anger, but need for someone to be with her. Something was seriously wrong. That much was obvious.

Audrey merely shook her head and went back to studying. Arya propped her head against her hand that was formed in a fist. She wasn't going to be able to focus now. She was only going to wonder how she could help her friend if she didn't have any information on the problem.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a distraction however. Nothing was going to get accomplished now as one of the Templars made his way over to the table. Datharian took the seat next to Arya without saying a thing to either of them. He gave her a charming smile which made his thin lips almost invisible.

He'd allowed his black hair to grow out longer recently which made the dark blue shade of his eyes more noticeable. His armor looked bulkier now which meant he'd gained some more muscle. He was handsome to say the least. It was a weakness she couldn't help, but didn't have to try to control either. He leaned closer to her and dropped his voice to a whisper, "I've got something planned at the end of the week. Just the two of us. You willing to stop by?"

Her eyes widened with surprise and she lowered her voice as well, "And get caught? Sneaking out sounds risky."

"Good. I know you like risky." He commented before pulling away. That was the end of the secretive discussion.

Audrey looked even angrier at this point, if that were possible. Her eyes were threatening to shoot fire and her hands had clenched into fists. She wasn't even paying attention to her studies at this point. Datharian raised an eyebrow, "What's the problem?"

"You're the problem." She muttered, hoping it wouldn't cost her for saying something like that to a Templar.

Datharian was of good-nature though. He simply laughed then rolled his eyes. He looked back at Arya, "How's class going for you? Probably poorly considering you can't even see the book you're reading."

"The dust was bothering Audrey, so I decided to take a break. Classes could be better, I guess. I'm not a natural at this magic thing." She responded.

"A mage that's not a natural at magic? There's a thought." He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was watching. He leaned over and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. The pink blush rose to her cheeks within seconds.

"Don't do that. You could get into trouble." She cautioned, but was glad to have the public affection.

"I checked before I made my attempt," He responded with a mischievous grin, "I need to get back to work though. I'll see you later."

He moved the chair back and left the library. Arya watched him as he left. Audrey looked like she was either about to fall over dead from shock or fear. That was definitely a strange look on her. Apparently nothing normal was going to happen today.

Audrey closed the book she was reading and stood up, still clutching the book for dear life. "Meet me back at our room later. Make sure none of the other girls come in. I need to talk to you about something really important." With that she hastily left. Perhaps she'd find out what was bothering the other girl after all.

* * *

><p>She closed the heavy door behind her. Hopefully no one would question it or barge in. She turned around to find Audrey sitting on the top bunk of their shared bed. She heaved a sigh of relief, "Thank goodness it's just you."<p>

"What's going on?" Arya questioned, trying to keep her voice calm and not too loud. She didn't want anyone eavesdropping on something this important.

Audrey went from relieved to angry again. It was her set mood today, but she had a reason why this time. Her eyes were narrowed and her long nose crinkled, "What are you doing with that Templar? I'd advise you not to keep flirting with those bastards, but it seems you've gotten more intimate with one."

Arya gave her an angry look back, "Flirting keeps me out of trouble for the most part and yes, we're together. What of it?"

Tears started falling from the elven girl's eyes. Arya was taken aback and her anger subsided. She stepped a little closer, but not too close in case the other girl didn't want her comfort. "I'm sorry if I-"

Audrey held up a hand to cut her off, "It's nothing you did. I think you should stay away from Datharian though. Promise me you'll break it off before things get ugly?"

"I'll need more of an explanation than that." Arya folded her arms across her chest, waiting to hear the truth.

She raised a hand to her face and wiped some of the tears away with her thin fingers. She was conflicted whether to tell the other girl what happened or not. It was a personal matter that wasn't pleasant to think about. "You know that other Templar, Evan, that your boyfriend spends a lot of time with?"  
>"I hardly know him, but yes, we've spoken." She responded patiently.<p>

"A few months ago I was studying late and we were talking for awhile. It was a surprisingly sweet conversation. Nothing I'd expect from a Templar. Eventually the conversation turned into something more seductive," She paused to think if that was the best word then continued, "We went back to his room without anyone noticing..."

Arya raised an eyebrow when the other girl stopped talking. She wasn't entirely sure what she was getting at, but she had a suspicion. Audrey looked at the floor as she quietly made her confession, "I'm pregnant."

It felt like the floor had crumbled beneath them and they were falling into a pit of darkness. She understood why the girl was afraid. That was one of the worst things that could happen in the Circle. A child would normally make most women proud, but not an unexpected mage.

"They'll take the child away the minute it's brought into the world. I don't think I can deal with so much misery. Isn't being locked away and abused enough?" Audrey continued.

"We'll get you out of here, I promise. I'm not going to allow you to go through that." Arya decided quickly.

The elven girl looked at her in shock, "How do you manage to accomplish that?"

"I'm distracting. They won't even notice you're gone for awhile." She replied, forming some sort of mad scheme in her head.

"They'll catch up with me eventually." Audrey muttered sadly.

"Hide well. Go somewhere like Orlais and disguise yourself. It's not the best plan, but at least we have one." She looked at her, hoping she'd go through with the idea.

She looked at the floor again, her pointy ears twitching. It was an odd sight and Arya wasn't entirely sure what it meant. The other girl must have found the idea appealing since she was silently imaging going through with it. Eventually she nodded. She wanted to escape.

Arya sighed out of relief then smiled, "I'll come get you one night I know it'll be easier to get out of here."

"Wait," She hesitated with the next thought, "Will you come with me? It's your chance to escape as well."

Her eyes scanned around the room as they usually did when she was nervous. She didn't look back at the girl as she responded, "I can't. This is my home now and one mage escaped is a lot harder to find than two."

Audrey climbed down the ladder from the top bunk. She made her way across the floor to where Arya had been standing and wrapped her arms around in her in a gentle hug. "Thank you so much. I wish you were coming, but I'm thankful to have a friend like you. I hope your plan works."

Arya hugged her back, "I hope so too."

The door creaked open a few minutes later. Both of the girls had gone back to studying when another group came in. Thankfully they'd arrived after the risky discussion. It was almost too perfect timing. Maybe they had been listening the whole time. They'd both be in trouble if that were the case. Arya gave a silent prayer to the Maker, hoping this plan would go through and no one knew about it.

* * *

><p><em>Darkness shrouded the sky, like a bride behind a veil; no one could see the shades of color hidden behind it. It wasn't night. The day was simply dull without sunlight to blind those who looked too long. That's what they'd said anyway. In the tower you couldn't see outside. There weren't any windows. You simply lived in prison, not knowing what the outside world was like unless you remembered from childhood. <em>

_She remembered, but that wasn't a pretty picture to paint. There were Templars and priests everywhere, much like now. Everyone was watching, much like now. Something that shouldn't have happened had taken place, much like now._

_Trapped in a reverie she'd almost forgotten the world around her. No one could forget those eyes lingering for long though. Nor could someone forget the wailing heard from down the corridor. Escaping had been pointless. They were only lucky the child had managed to survive. Sometimes Templars didn't care and would strike you down despite carrying another life. It was the most revolting thing about the Circle in her opinion._

_Datharian came up behind her with a grin. He wrapped his arms around her despite the fact people were watching. He placed a soft kiss on her neck and pulled back, "Glorious moment, don't you think?"_

"_Why are you behaving this way? People are watching," She paused as another thought occurred to her, "What do you mean glorious? What's glorious?"_

_He rolled his eyes, "The people won't mind. Not after today's events. It's glorious to have another life brought into this world. Hopefully he'll be lucky and won't turn out to be a mage."_

_She scowled, "What's wrong with being a mage?"_

_He chuckled, "What isn't wrong is the better question. Can't believe Evan decided to fuck one."_

"_I'm a mage." She commented angrily and pulled away from him. _

_His dark blue eyes seemed swallowed in confusion. He looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. It was one of the few times she'd seen him at a loss for words. She could tell he wanted to reach out for her, but he didn't try since she'd pulled away._

_She wanted to question why he was looking at her in such a way, but she looked at her hands instead. They weren't bare like most apprentice's. They were clad in armor. The gauntlets of a Templar. She narrowed her eyes in confusion. How had something like this happened? Was it a disguise? No, Datharian seemed genuinely confused._

_She'd been in the Circle for years, working to control her magic. She'd wanted to be a Templar, but had been given the gift of magic. This wasn't her life. It was a fictional life. Or was the life of a mage only a dream? She couldn't remember._

_She didn't say anything and simply left the room. If she appeared to be a Templar, she wouldn't get in too much trouble. She entered the room where the wailing had been coming from. Audrey was sitting there, but other mages had the child. Arya had to bite her lower lip to keep from screaming at the horrific sight. _

_The sunburst was etched onto her forehead. Her eyes didn't appear to see, not a smile on her lips for giving birth, not any emotion. She had noticed Arya enter, "I was wondering when you would arrive."_

"_Why did they do this?" Arya choked out._

"_I wanted this. It is better not to feel than fear possession or deal with the loss of another family member." Audrey responded, her voice hollow._

_It had been years and Arya had almost forgotten. Audrey's parents and siblings had died before she'd turned herself over to the Circle. Now she was going to lose a child she'd given life to. There was so much loss she'd rather not feel anything. Arya only regretted it more that they hadn't escaped, or maybe it had never been a plan in this life as a Templar._

_She couldn't think of anything else to say. She felt as hollow as Audrey's voice had become. She left the room and leaned against the wall. Within minutes other Templars filed out of the room with the newborn. The child would never know his parents, the outside world, or anything aside from the Circle. She tried her best not to vomit from the thought._

_She wanted to run, wanted to protect the child, wanted to-_

Her eyes opened to see darkness; only shadowy figures could be seen in her field of vision. She could hear deep breathing and the shuffle of footsteps in the corridor. Beads of sweat stuck to her skin and dampened her hair, as well as the pillow. Her heart was racing out of panic. She realized it had been a bad dream. With that realization she tried to calm herself and slow her breathing.

Eventually her vision returned to normal and she could make out some color or outline of each object. No one else seemed to have noticed she was awake; no one else was awake. She wanted to light a fire to see better, but she didn't want to wake anyone. They were also told how their magic was a curse before going to sleep and she didn't want another lecture if the Templars noticed. It wasn't surprising she'd had a nightmare with the feeling the Templars gave her every night. She hadn't asked to be a mage; she didn't understand why the chantry viewed it as a curse either. She didn't know why her parents listened to that garbage. They'd believed her abilities were such a curse they acted like she didn't even exist. One letter would have been nice, but that was a matter for later. She needed to check on Audrey without anyone noticing.

She moved the few light blankets away from her. Her feet quietly hit the stone floor. She winced because it was cold. Moving stealthily, she took a few steps to the ladder and carefully climbed up it. She remained leaned against the ladder and gently shook Audrey until her eyes opened. It took a few moments for her sight to adjust, "Arya? What are you doing up this early? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing too major. I had a bad dream that involved you. I wanted to make sure you were alright." She assured her.

Audrey barely nodded, "Yes, I'm fine. What was it?"

"I'll explain in the morning. I don't want anyone to overhear." Arya responded.

"Oh," Audrey said without further question. She understood what it was about.

The elven girl rolled back over to signal the conversation was over. She needed some rest. Arya climbed back down the ladder and went back to bed. Sleep wasn't an option now though. Her mind was racing in a million different directions. She was terrified the escape plan wouldn't work now.


	3. Chapter Two: Marked by Crimson

**Chapter Two: Marked by Crimson**

_**Trigger warning: Physical abuse and sexual harassment  
><strong>_

Silence seemed to capture everyone in a snare. Apprentices were scattered throughout the library and few Templars bothered to watch over them. That much was noticeable when Arya spotted two mages hidden in a corner being a little too playful. She turned her attention back to the book that was opened on the table; a slight blush shaded her cheeks. It shouldn't have been a big deal, but even a glance felt like an invasion of privacy.

Audrey still seemed to be half-asleep. Her eyes continuously fluttered and she kept rubbing her temples. She had been like that for a few minutes, but finally spoke quietly, "What was it you wanted to talk about? What happened in your dream?"

"Are you sure you won't fall asleep during my wild tale?" Arya responded with an eyebrow raised.

"No promises. Maybe you should shorten it." She said and that was their compromise.

Arya had given her minor details as she tried to work up the confidence to tell her what was troubling her. She traced circles on the table and glanced around the room. It was always a giveaway sign of her uncertainty and Audrey sighed. "Just tell me. It can't be _that _bad." Audrey commented with an encouraging expression.

"Fine. You had given birth and chose to be tranquil instead of dealing with the loss." Arya said quietly, hoping no one would come by and hear them.

The elven girl looked concerned, "I don't understand. Why would that happen? We have a plan."

Arya shrugged, "It was just a dream. I wanted to make sure that wasn't your decision if this plan doesn't work out."

Audrey looked to the floor and bit her lip. Apparently she had been contemplating it. That set off alarms in Arya's head and she struggled to keep her voice low, "You can't do that! What if he gets a chance to see his mother one day. Do you want him to find you like that?"

"Him?" Audrey questioned.; the rest of the conversation had entered one ear and went out the other.

Arya suddenly felt uncomfortable. She shouldn't have specified anything. There wasn't any proof that was true either. "Um, yes, maybe. I'm not sure, okay? That was the baby's sex in the dream anyway. It doesn't really mean anything." She said hesitantly.

"I suppose you're right, but it could have been the Maker sending you a message. You believe in that stuff, don't you?" She seemed lost in curiosity.

"Yes, but I don't see why the Maker would be sending me messages."

"You could be special." Audrey gave her a rare smile.

Arya couldn't resist smiling back, "I doubt it, but I won't push the idea aside."

"Won't push aside what idea?" A new voice questioned from behind.

She'd spoken too loudly, especially in a library; she hadn't even noticed. Thankfully she recognized the voice and the fear didn't cling to her for long. It had been more of a jolt of surprise. A mischievous smile crept upon her lips, "The idea that I'm the most wonderful person in the Circle, of course."

"Keep up that pretend arrogance and people are going to believe you." The voice replied.

"Keep spending time with mages and people are going to believe you're a traitor." Arya responded without turning around.

Audrey seemed to be as pale as a ghost. She obviously thought Arya was in trouble and mouthed the question rather than asking aloud, "Who is that?"

"Sorry, I didn't introduce you two. I talk to him frequently, I guess I'd assumed you'd been introduced." Arya finally turned around to look at the Templar, "This is Lance. He was one of the Templar's kids that visited my family," She looked back at Audrey, "This is Audrey, my closest friend in the Circle."

Color started to return and Audrey narrowed her eyes, "Your family really screwed you up, didn't they? A few years spent with them and you think every Templar is your buddy."

"Not all of them. Some are friends and some are enemies. You have to play your cards carefully." Arya responded, feeling a little uneasy with her friend's comment.

Audrey apparently didn't want to hear about it. She didn't trust the Templars nearly as easily as Arya did. She could spend the night with one, but she didn't dare be seen talking to one publicly. She placed a few books in the bag she was carrying and left the library.

Lance had watched her leave without comment. He gave a questioning look to Arya, "Is she always like that?"

"Distant and angry? Normally. I prefer obnoxious and troublesome." She responded with a grin.

"I think everyone has noticed," Lance chuckled, "Anyway, I've got to get back to my duty. I left the herbs you requested on your bag. Have you ever considered taking your bag to your room instead of throwing it against the wall next to the door?"

"What's the point? I don't get a break after class and Audrey insists I come here immediately. It saves me from carrying it further for awhile anyway."

He rolled his eyes out of amusement. It was strange how they always seemed to be sparked with humor when they were a dull gray, but it was also a refresher. He put his helmet back on, thankful his long blonde hair wasn't sticking out again. A few tries were usually necessary to get it right. He hurried back to his position since the tallest Templar missing was very noticeable.

She frowned as he left. It was nice to have someone here that she'd known her whole life, but frustrating because he was always busy. She couldn't handle spending almost all day with Audrey constantly. They clashed a little too much for that to be bearable.

It was probably only going to get worse as she had mood swings. She hadn't even considered that until now. She groaned and closed the book she hadn't managed to pay any attention to. It might be a nightmare to deal with, but Audrey needed someone. She also needed to get out of here and it was troubling Arya with how difficult that would be. Her only friend would be gone and no doubt the Templars would notice. The Templars wouldn't be kind to her again after that. It would be lonely, but she wasn't selfish. Audrey's escape was more important than Arya's social life would ever need to be. She was thankful to know her priorities were in the right place; she forgot who she was with the arrogant front sometimes.

* * *

><p>The end of the week had finally arrived. It had been a slow day simply because she was excited for something. She'd spent the day tapping her fingers against the desk in class, barely eating anything due to being distracted, and rambling constantly. Nothing made the day go by any faster, but now night had fallen. Despite her excitement throughout the day she now felt fear. Sneaking out of her room and around the Circle would not be an easy task. Why couldn't there be a spell for invisibility?<p>

She waited until the shadows of Templars disappeared from the doorway. The corridors were alight from torches on the wall; it would simply make her easier to spot. She cursed under her breath, but allowed her feet to hit the cold stone floor. She stealthily made her way to the door and barely peaked around it. The Templars had started talking to each other in a corner; they weren't paying any attention to her for the time being.

She didn't dare give a sigh of relief. It wasn't over yet and she could still be dead by morning. Being quiet and quick was going to be complicated, but she gave it her best shot. She went the opposite way from where the Templars were stationed. They stopped talking for a few seconds. They were listening.

"I thought I heard something, but I guess it was just my imagination." One of them commented, sounding confused.

Arya continued making her way through the Circle before they decided to look for the noise. There were few Templars on watch at night and somehow luck had gotten her through one level. When she reached the staircase she heard more voices. This was going to be a never-ending cycle of fear and hope. She pressed her back against the wall, praying they wouldn't come down the stairs. Eventually the voices faded and she managed a small smile.

She carefully made her way up the staircase and looked around the archway to the left. No one was down that corridor. It also didn't have much light compared to the other level. She made her way through the corridor, keeping a watch for anyone. They could be at the end and cause it to be game over. Considering her objective was a level above, it was the presumed ending.

Somehow luck favored her again though. Most people would probably be happy over their success, but she merely felt suspicion. Where did all of the Templars disappear to? Were they expecting her and decided to wait at the floor above? She gritted her teeth as she went up the staircase and hated the Circle as she went.

Her heart hammered in her chest and sweat formed on the palms of her hands. Every possible way of getting caught crossed her mind. A horde of Templars could be awaiting her at the top of the staircase; it was the level where they all lived when they weren't on duty. Some could be walking around because they couldn't sleep or sneaking a moment together because no one was supposed to be around. She winced on every step of the way, afraid her footsteps could be heard.

She thought the Maker must have been watching over her every step of the way when she found the level empty. There wasn't anyone in sight. She still remained careful as she made her way to Datharian's room. She gave a small tap against the door in case anyone was visiting him.

He opened the door within a few seconds. His hair was messy and he gave a lopsided grin. He motioned her inside then gently closed the door, "I wasn't sure you'd make it, but I'm glad you did."

"Me too. It's going to be hard slipping back." She responded as the thought just crossed her mind.

"I'm sure you can manage." He leaned down and placed a reassuring kiss upon her lips.

A playful smile tugged at her lips when he pulled back. He managed to make every worry disappear. It made her feel better about each situation. He also convinced her to sneak out which was risky. She wasn't sure he made the best decisions sometimes, but it seemed to be the only option for the time being.

There was a small, round table in the corner with two chairs on each end. He took a seat and waited for her to take the one across from him. She was surprised he'd managed to fit another piece of furniture in such a small space. Normally people would have dinner at such a table, but they didn't receive food or beverages unless it was a certain time of day. Maybe it wouldn't be too awkward. She'd never experienced a dinner date anyway.

Why were these thoughts occurring? It had been frequent recently. She supposed it was an itching to get out of the Circle, but that wasn't surprising considering Audrey was going to get out. She hoped anyway.

"Something troubling you?" Datharian had noticed her distracted expression.

She shook her head, "It's nothing. Can we just talk?"

"Sounds like a plan. Anything you specifically want to discuss?" He leaned back to sit more casually.

"Not really," She paused to think of a topic starter, "What about your name? It doesn't sound much like a human name."

"My mother was elven and she picked the name."

Arya couldn't help but give a stunned look. She hadn't considered the idea that he had elven blood. That meant he probably wasn't noble. Why hadn't she thought to ask beforehand? Normally people asked about your lineage, but she'd missed that natural curiosity somehow. "I hadn't even considered...that's interesting." She gave a smile despite her shock.

He laughed, "I can see you weren't expecting that, but I appreciate your politeness. What about you?"

"I don't really know," She said honestly and shrugged.

He wasn't sure if he believed that, but didn't pressure her. She hadn't spent too long with her family after all. They didn't say anything else for awhile. He eventually reached out his hand and laced his fingers through hers. Her hand was small compared to his; it didn't fit very nicely, but it was still comforting.

Her eyelids were getting heavy and she could feel her senses getting fuzzy. She spent too many nights without sleep and now she was trying to get through another one. It was difficult for her to sleep. She always had nightmares or too much to think about. A yawn managed to escape her and she immediately felt ashamed she hadn't lasted longer than that with stimulating a conversation.

"Are you tired?" He questioned, surprised.

"I haven't been sleeping much." She admitted.

He removed his hand from hers then glanced around the room. He was searching for something, but she wasn't sure what. She waited patiently for him to speak again. He looked back at her after a moment and lowered his voice, "I wanted to make sure no one was around. Did you want to stay here tonight?"

Her eyes widened a little through the sleepiness. The idea was appealing. She glanced from him to the door. She had to evaluate the consequences of whichever choice she made. "I can't. I want to, but they'll notice I'm missing in the morning and I can't really slip out of your quarters unnoticed." She frowned; it wasn't the choice she wanted to make.

He nodded in understanding. He didn't want her to make that choice either. "Could we still spend some more time together? I don't want you to leave so soon."

"I'd like that. Don't let me fall asleep though." She cautioned.

"I won't."

* * *

><p>She didn't remember falling asleep, at least not in a comfortable bed. She'd usually wake up on a hard mattress in a cold atmosphere. It was warm and soft. With a jolt of panic she no longer felt sleepy. What time was it? Where was she? She looked over and noticed the familiar face. Datharian seemed more peaceful asleep and his arm was draped over her. It would be difficult to move. "Maker's breath, Datharian, you had one task," she muttered.<p>

She blamed him, but vaguely remembered he fell asleep before her. They'd been cuddling and lack of sleep had caught up to him as well. She'd started to leave, but felt too comfortable and sleep had overtaken her before she made up her mind. This time she cursed herself.

She pushed his arm away, hoping not to wake him. When he continued sleeping she slipped out of bed. It must not have been morning yet since he hadn't been told to report for duty. She might have time to sneak back to the apprentice quarters, but it would be just as difficult as sneaking out had been.

Quietly opening the door she peered around the edge to see if any Templars were lurking now. There still didn't appear to be any sign of them. They must have been cocky enough to believe a mage wouldn't be able to make their way to the upper levels. She rolled her eyes and continued to make her way down the levels.

She'd almost made it to the apprentice quarters when a group of three Templars rounded the corner. Her breath caught and an icy pit formed in her stomach. Time seemed to stand still as she remained frozen in horror. Her eyes had widened and her feet seemed to be glued to the floor.

"Well, what have we here? A mage that's escaped? Come to keep us company?" One of them commented excitedly. Something seemed off about his voice though. It sounded demeneted.

Her muscles tensed and she accidentally bit her tongue. She could feel the slight trickle of blood forming in her mouth. She tried to ignore it and glared at the group, "I wouldn't dare keep you company."

"My dear, I don't think you have much of a choice on the matter." The apparent leader stated. His voice was demented as well. It only bothered her more when she recognized the one who had just spoken. Evan.

Her heart seemed to sink. She didn't want to tell Audrey, especially if something more had been going on between them. Why would he allow himself to be possessed by demons? Why did the demons prey on these Templars instead of mages? Did anything ordinary happen in this Circle any longer?

The one who hadn't spoken yet came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, "Where have you been all night anyhow, sweet thing?"

She wanted to slam her elbow back into him, but it would be pointless. She'd hurt herself more than him with the armor he was wearing. There wasn't a chance she'd be lucky enough for someone to walk up and stop it. Luck had favored her too well throughout the night. She knew this was the end.

"Not going to talk? Tsk tsk tsk." Evan shook his head and walked towards her. Within a split second he'd shaped his hand into a fist and pulled it back. His fist launched forward and slammed into her shoulder. Between the armor and speed it left an almost immediate bruise. A small whimper escaped her before she could hold it back.

A sick smile twisted on his lips, "Now, do you like it rough or have you changed your mind?"

"What do you want? I know you're all demons. You must have some objective." She said and tried to ignore the pain she felt spreading across her shoulder.

Evan laughed and it felt like ice water spilled across her skin, "We're only searching for the most promising hosts. You hold up quite nicely. You endure pain and refuse your superiors. You make an excellent candidate."

She didn't like the sound of that. Her eyes narrowed in anger, "You'll never have me."

One of them laughed, "A feisty one!"

The one holding her tightened his grasp. The metal against her would leave marks if she even managed to escape. She knew she could have been dead by morning, but she hadn't thought in a literal sense. She had to make a plan quickly.

Evan started pacing in front of her, pondering what to do with her next. It was unsettling seeing the boy with flaming red hair in a tousled mess, brown eyes distant, and mouth usually closed to be warped by this demon. He was nothing aside from crazy and in charge now. It would've been noticeable to anyone.

"Drag her to my quarters. It's best not to be seen so publicly." He finally commanded.

The one holding her started dragging her backwards through the corridors she'd just come from moments ago. Perhaps if she called for Datharian he would hear her, but that would risk other Templars hearing her as well. No matter what she did she was going to be caught and punished. She tried not to give an exasperated sigh.

As they continued to drag her she barely lifted her hand up. She willed large shards of ice to sprout from the floor. It shot through Evan's foot and he cursed. The other was split in half and blood splattered the ground, as well as body parts. She felt sickened. It was the first time she had killed anyone, but he had been possessed by a demon. It was merely survival.

"Release the bitch. I'll take good care of her." Evan commented as he hobbled forward. His foot punctured made it difficult to walk now.

The minute he released her she darted to the other side of the room. It would take Evan a long time to reach her. She wasn't going to walk away from this battle. More lives could be in danger or they'd still come for her. Either way wasn't positive.

Flames danced across her fingertips and she let the spiral fly towards them both. The one who had been holding her was scorched. Flames continued to engulf him as he screamed in agony and panic. The armor made the fire hotter and it consumed him within seconds.

Evan snarled and used the newfound Templar abilities to weaken her spells to the point they were basically useless. She cursed under her breath. She knew it would happen; she was only surprised it hadn't happened sooner.

She turned to run off to seek assistance, but he grabbed her. He'd finally caught up. Her shoulders slumped again. It wasn't her night for succeeding in the end. He kept one arm tightly around her waist while the other played against her body wherever he felt like exploring. She blinked back tears.

"You'll make a wonderful host." He laughed maniacally.

She closed her eyes, wishing it was simply a bad dream. When she opened them she found herself in the same situation. She knew it had been a stupid idea, but it had been worth a shot. She felt his nails sinking into her thigh. She bit her tongue as she tried not to scream. They were sharp and painful. She didn't want anyone touching her there either.

He'd stripped her defenseless by choosing a Templar host. She couldn't use her magic and she wasn't physically strong enough to fight back, especially while he was protected by the armor. She could punch his face, but his grip was too tight for her to face him. It was a hopeless battle.

She sighed, "Very well. If you're still willing to go for a round we can head back to your quarters."

He removed his hand from her thigh and gave a wicked grin, "I knew you'd give in at some point."

Why couldn't the Templars be awake now? She might be caught out of bed, but at least she'd be away from this creep. She could still scream. Hopefully her plan worked and she wouldn't have to. If she did, the other Templars might hear her on this level.

He'd kept an arm around her as he led her back to what should have been Evan's quarters. The idea that he and Audrey had...no, she tried not to think about it. How was she going to explain this to Audrey? How was she going to avoid possession for that matter?

He'd pushed her against the wall in an attempt to kiss her, but she held up a hand and pressed a finger against his lips, "Not so fast. I like the armor off first."

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't complain. He'd turned his back and did as she suggested. Apparently he decided she wouldn't cooperate otherwise. She wanted to know why a demon was acting like this to begin with. The demon seemed to be a little too human, or maybe had been itching to get into the real world. Maybe they had the same desires. She might need to study more for that class like Audrey kept telling her.

While he had his back turned she ran her fingers across the books on his shelf, looking for a thick and heavy one. Eventually she found one, but not quickly enough. Evan had turned back around to catch her in the act, "What are you doing?"

"Just waiting for you, sweetheart." She said convincingly and removed the book from the shelf. Within a split second she hit his eye with the corner of it and slammed the book against his face. It dropped to the floor with a loud _thud._

He was cursing and trying not to scream from the agony. He couldn't see from one eye any longer. She picked up the sword he'd left carelessly on the floor when he'd taken off the armor. She gave him a twisted grin this time, "I couldn't help myself with your lovely book collection, dear. How's the eye? Better in the Fade, I'm sure."

He snarled and came towards her, but she slammed the sword through his heart. She pulled it back out. It was sticky with blood and dripping to the floor. He said something else in a demonic language she couldn't understand then his vessel fell to the floor, lifeless. She heaved a sigh of relief. It wouldn't be good for her in the morning, but at least she was alive.

She dropped the sword next to the dead body. Her heart filled with sorrow that it had cost Evan's life, but he'd already given it to a demon. She didn't know why. She knew Audrey would be scarred when the truth came out. She could try to hide it, but it wouldn't serve any useful purpose. Audrey needed to know. Maybe they hadn't been together. Maybe it had just been a fling. She could only try to comfort herself with the idea.

She left the room. It was hard to get through the levels again with a limp from where the nails had dug into her. It was a fiery pain with every step. She had to get back before anyone knew what had happened.

* * *

><p>Audrey was observant. She knew something had happened last night when she heard the Templars whispering about unexplained deaths. None of them had a heard a thing. It was obvious a mage was responsible for at least two of them.<p>

The other apprentices had filed out of the quarters for breakfast. The elven girl remained seated on her top bunk. She'd changed to her robes, but she noticed someone had not. Arya had slipped into her robes when she found Audrey giving her a stern look. This conversation was going to happen sooner than she'd like.

"I overheard a mage went on some wild killing spree last night. Want to tell me what that's about?" She said icily.

"Why do you point your finger at me first?" Arya grumbled.

Audrey gave a mock laugh, "Are you serious? I noticed the nasty bruise on your shoulder and pink blotches across your side when you changed into your robes. Not to mention you were missing last night when I woke up."

Arya gave a cocky smile, "Watching me dress now, Audrey? I think you may have something to confess as well."

An angry blush formed on the elf's cheeks, "You're my sister, Arya, and you know I was purposely searching for more clues. You wouldn't change in front of me if you had a problem."

"True. I'm glad to know I have more admirers nonetheless." She continued to avoid the question with humor.

Audrey wasn't nearly as amused. She folded her arms across her chest. Her green eyes focused on Arya, waiting for an answer. She wouldn't sit here and argue all morning.

"Fine. I went out to see Datharian last night." She confessed to part of what happened.

"I told you to break it off with him. Is that what you did or do we need to continue that part of this conversation?" She said with a glare still lingering.

Arya bit her lip. She didn't want to make the other girl even angrier, but that was the path it was going. She looked to the floor as she said, "Not exactly. I fell asleep while I was visiting."

"Hopefully not after some romantic rendezvous as if you're sister-like friend over here isn't a good example of why you shouldn't do that." She snapped.

"Nothing like that, don't worry." She responded and remained quiet for awhile. Audrey didn't pressure her again, but it was obvious she was waiting for the continuation of the story.

She sighed and continued, "I was coming back and I ran into a group of Templars. There were three of them and each possessed by some weird demons. Look, it was a long night, can we stop there?"

Audrey shook her head. She wasn't going to let Arya get by without giving the entire, truthful story. This was one time she wished the girl wasn't intent on seeking more knowledge. It would be better if she found out later.

"I didn't mean to kill any of them. I was protecting myself and it was hopeless. They'd already sold themselves to demons and I didn't have time to get mages to perform some sort of exorcism on three of them." She said hastily.

They were both quiet for awhile before Audrey dared to ask the worst question possible, "Who were they?"

"You don't want me to answer that." Arya cautioned.

"Who were they?" Audrey repeated.

"I didn't recognize two of them. I assume they typically have a shift on the upper levels, but the other one..." She trailed off, not willing to say it.

Audrey was cold, all of the color had drained from her. She wasn't stupid; she had pieced together the missing part of the puzzle. Her eyes went from anger to lifeless. She was doing everything possible to keep from openly falling apart. It wasn't sadness she felt, it was emptiness. It was a sort of depression that would cling to her for a long time. It was the loss of love in a darker sense than simply parting ways.

"You weren't...you weren't together, right?" Arya dared to question. She had to know how grave the consequences of her actions were.

It was the first time she had noticed. How oblivious had she been? Audrey twirled something around her finger. It was a ring. Arya's heart dropped to her stomach and seemed to disappear. What she did was unforgivable. She couldn't even apologize. It would only seem like empty words.

If they had been that involved, why would he have made a deal with a demon? Did it trick him into thinking he could help Audrey? It seemed to be the only thing that made sense.

"You're not the only one who can find love in forbidden places," Audrey said slowly, "You are the one who doesn't deserve love though."

It was probably the coldest thing she'd heard from Audrey, from anyone in fact. It made her feel numb. Those words felt true though. If she could take someone's lover from the world when there were other options, she didn't deserve anyone herself.

Audrey climbed down the ladder. She'd never be able to share that bunk with Arya again and they both knew it. She'd switch with someone else. They had been sisters a moment ago, but now they weren't even friendly acquaintances.

She didn't say anything as she went to the door. She was late for breakfast and probably didn't feel like eating at this point. She turned around, "I'm not leaving this Circle with your assistance either."

"What? You need to be safe though." Arya protested.

"I'd be a lot safer losing my child than escaping in your company." She said coldly and walked out.

The conversation had turned out to be a lot worse than she had been expecting. She slumped against the wall and smashed her hand against the side of the desk. Her hand felt like it was pounding afterwards. She buried her face inside her hands. No physical pain could ever compare to how she felt now.

* * *

><p>Audrey noticed Datharian on her way to speak with the Knight-Commander. It wasn't the best decision since she was a mage, but it may go over well considering the information she had. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Arya's lover though. The other girl didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve anyone.<p>

"Stop seeing her. She wouldn't take my advice and now my lover and your best friend lies dead." Audrey said to him bitterly.

He hung his head sadly, "I'm sorry for your loss and it will take awhile for me to recover, but my feelings for Arya haven't changed."  
>"She murders your friend and you still care for her?" She raised an eyebrow.<p>

"She wouldn't kill without a reason. She could be killed herself for this." He said and looked panicked at that idea.

"I think she's too precious for the Circle to allow that to be her punishment." Audrey commented and walked off before Datharian could say anything else.

She made her way up the levels and explained to each of the Templars where she was going. They didn't bother stopping her. They knew the Knight-Commander could handle her if anything got out of hand. The upper levels felt strange each time she visited them. It was quiet and brought a sense of peace as long as the Templars weren't following your every movement.

She gently knocked on the wooden door to the Knight-Commander's office. He responded with a short "enter" and she pushed the door open. He looked at her curiously. She was certain not many mages came to him with matters.

"Shouldn't you take up your problems with the First Enchanter or some other mage?" He questioned.

"Normally I would, but I felt like this news was something you could handle better," She paused and continued when he didn't say anything, "I know who killed your men last night."

That caught his attention. He leaned forward in his chair, "I'm listening."

"It was the mage by the name of Arya Trevelyan. She confessed to me this morning and said they had been possessed by demons. I don't know if that makes a difference when it comes to her crimes." She explained.

"Possessed? Strange a demon would go after a Templar instead of a mage, but it's possible." He started mumbling to himself then looked back at her, "Was there anything else?"

"Yes, Knight-Commander, she is also involved with one of your men. She decided to sneak out last night to see him and that's how she stumbled across these possessed Templars." She confessed without any remorse.

He narrowed his eyes. He was certainly angry now. "I hope you intend to tell me which one," He said through gritted teeth.

"Of course. She is heavily involved with Datharian. I have witnessed it with my own eyes. He kissed her in the library while we were studying the other day. I've advised both of them to call it off, but they both refused." She responded.

"I'll see that they are both punished," He promised, "Thank you for help."

She bowed her head and made her exit. She wouldn't be the only one punished after all. Losing a lover and a child was too much to handle. Seeing Arya suffer as much or worse would be an even trade. How could her own sister do this to her? Perhaps she had been to rash to sell her out, but the noble beauty got too much of what she wanted. It was time for her to learn a lesson or two about the real world.


	4. Chapter Three: Living Nightmare

**Chapter Three: Living Nightmare**

_**Trigger warning: Physical abuse and sexual harassment**_

Classes were dull and dragged on. Arya could only hear the lecturer's voice drowning out as she was lost in thought. She was bound to be made Tranquil when they discovered she'd killed the Templars. It didn't matter what her excuse was. She could feel her palms getting sweaty as she thought about her punishment.

Audrey wouldn't speak to her any longer; she wouldn't even sit near her. Apparently it didn't matter to some people if their loved ones were possessed. It was a matter of survival for everyone in the Circle. If Templars and mages were both possessed a demon army would take over the tower. Sometimes being imprisoned was better than not being in control. It still hurt knowing her 'sister' didn't care what the circumstances had been. The bond was broken.

She continued to take messy notes; she only heard a few words here and there. The depressed feeling made it hard to concentrate or even care. Eventually her eyelids started to feel heavy and the room seemed to swim out of existence.

The wooden doors burst open with a loud thud against the stone wall. It was the only thing that had managed to jolt her awake. She was more terrified than she had been only minutes earlier. The clank of metal against the floor was like thunder as a multitude of Templars disrupted the class. Her heart swelled and her breathing became shallow. This was the end.

The lecturer finally stopped rambling. He hadn't been aware of the atmosphere until the Templars came in. Some students had marks or drool on their faces. It was obvious many had fallen asleep. No one slept know; they all feared punishment whether they'd done something or not.

The Knight-Commander slowly approached behind Arya. He leaned down so he was face-to-face with her. His hot breath against her skin made her cringe, "I think it's time we had a little talk, Trevelyan."

"What about?" She feigned innocence.

"I think you know, but it's not an optional conversation." He stated and pulled her out of the chair. He kept a grip on her as he started to lead her out of the class. He turned back to look at the lecturer before leaving, "Don't worry about this. Return to your class."

The lecturer had gone pale, but nodded. The remaining Templars followed the Knight-Commander out of the class and down the corridor. She didn't even have the option of escaping, but that would only result in death anyway. She heaved a defeated sigh and the Knight-Commander grinned wickedly.

* * *

><p>It was a small room and unfamiliar. Three Templars aligned each side of the room; their swords were sheathed, but probably not for long. The Knight-Commander threw her against the stone floor. It was cold and hard; her eyes squeezed shut on impact from the pain. It felt like cracks had formed along her skull and there was a pounding sensation.<p>

Her eyes fluttered open after a few seconds and her mouth hung agape. She didn't recognize any of the other Templars except for one. Datharian's dark blue eyes stared down at her. They were filled with agony. She could feel the chill go through her spine as the thought buzzed through her mind: did they know?

The Knight-Commander chuckled, "Don't think we're foolish. We know about your little love affair, if that's what you want to call it."

She scowled and didn't bother conversing the topic, "What am I here for?"

"You're here on account of killing three Templars in one night and having a forbidden romance with one of my men. You are a mage, Lady Trevelyan, need I remind you." He responded and folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm well aware of my abilities, Knight-Commander. Who gave you this information?" She questioned.

"You don't deny these accusations?" He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"I didn't say whether I confirmed or denied these things." She replied, trying not to sound offensive. Lying on the floor surrounded by Templars was a bad place to get smart with someone. It would be difficult to sound civil unfortunately.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, "I have reliable information and it's none of your concern. You will be punished for these crimes no matter what you say, you and I both know that. Why bother asking pointless questions?"  
>"I'm not the one asking pointless questions." She bit her tongue as soon as she said it.<p>

"You were never good at holding your tongue, my dear. Would one of you please show her how this is going to work?" He commented and turned his attention to his men.

One of them closest to her unsheathed his sword. She could feel the panic rise inside her and wanted to curse herself for letting a smart comment slide despite reminding herself not to allow it. He looked down at her and a twisted smile formed on his lips. He hit the already bruised shoulder with the side of his sword and she tried not to scream.

"Consider that a warning. Nothing after that will be as kind. Now, you have an opportunity to admit to your crimes or we will follow through with the punishment." The Knight-Commander said as the other man stepped back, not sheathing his sword.

"Why don't you go ahead and make me Tranquil? It's much faster." She said, refusing to answer again.

The Knight-Commander let out a bark of laughter, "Tranquil? Sweetheart, you're going to wish you were made Tranquil after this. No, we intend to make the rest of your life a living nightmare. It's much worse than not feeling at all."

He was right. Being emotionless would be kinder than whatever they had in store for her. Maybe she shouldn't have bothered trying to eliminate the demons after all. This wouldn't have happened at all if she hadn't been so keen on visiting Datharian. Maybe Audrey had been right about needing to end it after all.

"Knight-Commander, might I make a suggestion?" One of them asked and he motioned the man to continue, "Wouldn't it be easier to torture her if she wasn't so protected?"

The wicked grin returned, "I believe so. What a lovely suggestion. Who should do the honors?" He looked around the room and his eyes landed on one in particular, "Of course. I'm sure you're accustomed to this by now. Remove her robes, Datharian."

His eyes widened in disbelief. This apparently hadn't been part of the plan. She didn't know what they intended with an order like that, but she was choking back tears. It was humiliating and terrifying.

He reached out a hand to help her up, deciding it would be easier if she were standing rather than lying on the floor. Things would be worse if she didn't obey. She took his hand and stood. His hands were trembling, but he couldn't ignore orders. They'd both be in a worse situation. Within a moment the belt around her robes had dropped to the floor. He knelt down next to her and grabbed the hem of her robes. She raised her arms to make it easier for him to slip it over her head.

She could feel the cold brush against her skin. The embarrassment of having them all look at her was almost too much to handle. Two of the Templars moved to stand in front of the door since she was no longer helpless on the floor. She didn't think it made a difference; she was simply standing helpless now. It made her feel worse knowing this was the first time someone else had undressed her. Wasn't it supposed to be fun or romantic when that happened? Not humiliating and abusive, but that didn't matter to them.

One of the men chuckled, "I see why Datharian kept her."

"Shut up." Datharian muttered back.

The Knight-Commander glanced back at her, "Now you shall be given your punishment. There are seven of us here and we'll each give you a mark for each comrade dead. You'll be given twenty one or more marks of punishment before you leave this room, depending on how many smart comments we get out of you."

She didn't say anything. Her stomach had twisted into knots. She wasn't sure how much pain she'd be in, but she knew they weren't going to be light bruises and cuts. Maybe they'd even get more inventive. She hoped not. It also made her sick knowing Datharian was going to follow these orders. Why was his loyalty to the Order more important? She assumed he'd be killed otherwise and simply accepted it. She wasn't sure she could look at him the same after this however.

"I'll go first and Datharian will be last for each round of punishments." The Knight-Commander informed her and she merely shook her head.

He unsheathed his sword and approached her, the tip of the blade running across the bare skin of her stomach. A small cut was left behind and she'd barely felt the the blade. It hadn't been painful, but it would take awhile to heal. A small trail of blood sprouted from it. She ignored it.

The next man approached her, he was only a few years older than her judging from his appearance. He didn't seem to take any pleasure in this; he was merely following orders like Datharian. He left a slash across her thigh, below the injury that was already there. Blood poured down and across the other injury which didn't feel pleasant at all. She still refrained from showing any sign of pain or weakness.

The rest were a combination of older and close to her age. Each gave her a small cut like the first two had done. They were starting off small, but she knew it would get worse. Before Datharian had to make his mark, she was left with a three cuts on her stomach, one on her thigh, one on her left arm above the elbow, and one on her right palm. She had a feeling she'd lose a lot of blood by the end of this and was genuinely surprised they didn't suspect her of blood magic. They'd have picked a different method of torture otherwise. She also suspected a back-up plan in case she had turned out to be a blood mage.

Datharian approached her with an expression of sorrow. He wasn't playing this off well; perhaps he had confirmed their relationship. Everyone seemed convinced they were together. He placed his sword against her other thigh and left behind a small cut. He turned away from her instantly and never looked into her eyes.

"I see that didn't bother you much, but don't get excited." The Knight-Commander commented after the first seven marks were given.

"I'm not excited." She responded and he merely seemed amused.

He moved his hand back and formed it into a fist. It came in contact with the left side of her face and she could feel the swelling beginning. She bit her tongue again to keep from screaming or saying anything. He'd spent plenty of years in combat and the punch hurt beyond words.

The second man punched her already wounded shoulder. She wasn't sure she could feel it or even use it any longer. It had taken too much damage within a short period of time. She didn't bother trying to move it; it would probably strike more fear into her if she discovered the truth.

The rest of them gave her bruises as well. Each round was a pattern apparently and she was terrified of the third round. The other four had given her a bruise on her side, other shoulder, and both elbows. Her arms were basically useless at this point.

Datharian approached her last. This moment was dreaded for both of them each time. He'd decided to give her a bruise slightly above her right wrist. She didn't even feel it. She couldn't feel anything that came in contact with her arms. Maybe he'd noticed that.

"I'm going to allow the boys to get creative with this one. There isn't a pattern of cuts or bruises. Each gets to make their own decision." The Knight-Commander informed her with a twisted grin.

He moved across the room to one of the torches and raised his blade against it for a few moments. The metal was scalding at this point. He made his way back over to her and placed the hot metal against her abdomen. This time she couldn't prevent the screaming. He laughed like a maniac and backed away after a few seconds. This would be her least favorite round.

The second man simply drove his thumb into the hole on her thigh from the fight with the demonic Templars. It resulted in more screaming and she was almost upset no one came to check. She was also relieved no one came in case it was more Templars.

The third kicked one of her knees which made it hard to stand. She felt lopsided and he merely grinned. He apparently liked bruises better than other torture methods.

The fourth took down one of the torches. She could feel the fear rising and knew he could see it in her eyes. He allowed the fire to lick against her side leaving a burn mark that would probably never be healed. Tears started to fall at this point. She couldn't keep controlling her feelings.

The fifth left a deep cut on her back. It felt uncomfortable and painful at the same time. Why did they feel the need to give her so many cuts anyway? She only wished it wasn't bare. It might only have ripped the cloth of her robes.

The sixth stomped on her foot. It wasn't enough to break it, but it hurt. She managed not to scream, but the tears continued to fall. He seemed satisfied with that responses. He was also satisfied with Datharian getting the last strike.

"Get back on the floor." He said quietly.

She looked at him in disbelief, "Why?"

"Please. It will make this easier for me." He responded without an explanation.

She followed his orders the best she could. He helped her, knowing she couldn't feel her arms any longer. The floor was still cold and it felt nice against her sweaty skin. Her nerves had practically caught on fire from the fear and anxiety.

He had his sword in his hand now. He placed one hand against her forehead to keep her steady. He wouldn't meet her eyes, "I'm sorry. They gave me the final blow."

The blade was directly under her left eye. She felt more panic and fear with him than she had the others. That wasn't right. He shouldn't make her feel that way, even if he was obeying orders. She wanted to get up, but she knew her arms wouldn't allow it and apparently he wouldn't either. Why was he so cold now? He had been full of remorse earlier. She barely found any now.

The blade started to slowly sink into her skin and made a perfect line down. It stopped when it was level across from her nostril. She was screaming in agony and crying more than she ever had in her life. It caused some of the men to cover their ears or turn away. It was the deepest cut she'd been given during the entire torture session.

Blood spilled into her eye. She could barely see. Within a moment another fist came in contact with her face and only darkness filled her eyes. The Templars watched as she fell unconscious.

"What the fuck was that?" One of them looked at Datharian as he pulled away and stood up.

"I was instructed to give the final strike and make it worthwhile. I think that should be a good lesson. I knocked her out so she wouldn't feel the pain. She'll still hurt when she wakes up, but it's better than dealing with a fresh scar." Datharian commented.

"Obviously you cared enough to end some pain. You two did have a thing then?" The one asked, still confused.

"Yes, we did, but not any longer." Datharian said shortly.

The Knight-Commander grinned and placed a hand on his shoulder, "You did a wonderful job, Datharian. I'll ensure you're promoted to Knight-Captain once the opening is available."

"Thank you, Knight-Commander." He responded with a twisted grin.

* * *

><p>Her eyes opened, but didn't adjust to the darkness well. It smelled like piss and rotted flesh. She gagged as the scent hit her. Her arms felt too heavy to move and the cold air against her face stung like a thousand needles. Her skull felt cracked and she winced at the realization.<p>

It was almost silent in the room, but she could hear others' shaky breathing. That meant she was most likely in a cell. She heaved a sigh and stared at the ceiling. Hopefully it wouldn't be long before her vision returned.

"Trev?" A voice barely over a whisper said.

She was startled, especially because she couldn't see. She moved her head to the side where the voice was coming from. Her eyes could only see a dark outline. "Who's there?"

"Do other people call you Trev?"

"Stay away from me." She commented back, choking back tears of anger this time.

"I'm not going to do that. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Lance. Leave me alone." Her vision was started to come back much to her disappointment. She didn't want to see any Templars.

"You can barely move. I don't know what they did to you, but I know you're sentenced to live in the cells. They'll forget about you down here and they expect you to die within a few days." Lance responded.

"As if the torture wasn't enough. They just want me to suffer to death." That made her feel depressed all over again.

He avoided the topic of Datharian. He'd heard they split ways, but he had a feeling there was more to it than he knew. He slipped some bread and cheese through the cell. "I'm not going to let you die, alright?"

"You could be killed for disobeying orders." She said numbly.

"I'll risk it. No one really comes down here to catch me." He gave a small smile.

"I can't move my arms, Lance. I'm going to need some help with survival."

"I'll get something from some healers for that and bring it back tonight." He assured her.

She gave a faint smile. She wanted to trust him, but wasn't completely sure she could yet. He seemed eager to help, but she didn't know his intentions. She could take a chance since she'd known him since childhood. If he poisoned her or something, well, she was going to die anyway.

Her curiosity still got the best of her, "Why are you helping me? You don't seem to help the other mages."

She could have sworn he blushed. Perhaps it was her imagination since it was dark. He gave an awkward laugh, "Why wouldn't I help? I've known you forever and..."

Maybe her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. She raised an eyebrow, but he didn't say anything else. It seemed to be the first time he noticed the new scar however, "What happened to your eye? Well, under your eye?"

"Datharian gave me the final blow. It was the most painful. I'm not sure if I mean that literally or because he's the one that gave it to me." She said sadly.

Lance frowned and sat in silence. The more she said about what happened, the more disturbed he became. He didn't want to leave her side. It was shameful how corrupted this Circle was.

He finally broke the silence after a few minutes, "I'll be back later with some salves and water. Try to get some more rest."

* * *

><p>He entered the room quietly. It was vacant aside from an elven girl with his back turned to him. Her hair fell around her like a crimson waterfall. Her arms were crossed and she seemed nervous. He cleared his throat to announce his presence. She seemed briefly startled then turned to face him.<p>

"I was wondering when I'd see you again. I assume you broke it off since she's living in the prisons now?" Audrey questioned with a thin eyebrow raised.

"It wasn't specifically stated, but I think we're both on bad terms." He sat down in a chair at one of the vanities.

"I'm certain she'll figure it out sooner or later that I'm the one who turned her over. I honestly expected her to be made Tranquil. I'm not sure which fate sounds worse." She commented.

Datharian frowned, "Why did you turn her over anyway? You two are like sisters, right?"

"Why did you torture her? You two were lovers, right?" Audrey threw back at him.

He sighed, "I had to prove my worth to the Order which gained me the advantage of being the next Knight-Captain, hopefully. I'm sure it was just said to make me feel better. More effort should be involved for such a title. They would have killed me otherwise. I had to make it look like I didn't care."

"Do you care?"

"More than I should."

She rolled her eyes, "She isn't worth it. She'll always be treated better than the rest of us simply because of her family ties. You and I both know by some strange luck she won't die in that cell."

"She does have a way of getting through the worst. I imagine the mental scars will give her a struggle for the rest of her life however." He paused for a moment, lost in thought.

Audrey took a seat on the edge of her bunk. Sometimes standing grew tiresome. She bit her lip, hoping he wouldn't throw her back in the spotlight, but she knew this interrogation wasn't over.

It seemed like he could read her mind, "You didn't answer my question earlier."

She heaved a sigh, "I don't know why I did it. My temper gets the best of me and everyone knows that. I didn't want her involved in anything else. She killed my betrothed and wanted me to escape which could have resulted in two more deaths. I should have hesitated about turning her over, but I didn't. I just want my child to be safe."

He let out a snort of disgust, "Your child won't be safe either way. You didn't have to turn her over out of your own stupid fear. Evan made a deal with a demon for whatever reason. You can't blame her for killing your betrothed; he was already gone."

"She could have kept quiet. We could have gotten someone to enter the Fade. He could still be alive." She protested.

He looked at the floor, "I wish none of this had happened."

"Did you ever intend to marry her?" Audrey questioned. It was natural curiosity to her to know if any other forbidden romances would have made it. Maybe she had been fooling herself with the idea that Evan would actually stay with her.

"That's a sudden question, but, no. I knew it would end at some point. I only wish it had been a prettier picture in the end." He replied candidly.

"You were leading her on then?"

"Not intentionally. I enjoyed her company, but I didn't really love her. Not enough to be together forever in this Circle." He felt ashamed of himself, ashamed he'd even said that aloud after what he'd done to her.

"Someone would have found out anyway." She tried to comfort him, but it made her feel sick. She'd wanted to be with Evan. She knew it was true someone would have discovered their secret and one or both of them would have died. It made her feel cold inside.

Datharian stood to leave. Before he exited he looked at her seriously, "I hope after all of this your child isn't cursed with magic."

"Trust me, so do I." She muttered sadly.

* * *

><p>Lance had argued with the healer for what seemed like an eternity. He was thankful he'd managed to get the healing salves after all. Coming up with stories wasn't his strength though. It might be the first and last time he convinced the healer.<p>

He'd gotten a cup of water as well. It might not have been the cleanest water, granted most people preferred ale, but it was something to drink. Arya could refuse it if it were that terrible. Perhaps she could cleanse it somehow with her abilities.

He made his way down the stairs. It was hardly lit; only two torches provided light. He hated how dark it was and the smell was the worst. It was a small price to pay if it meant Arya could live. He merely hoped she didn't find out why he was helping.

"I've got the salves." He commented when he arrived at her cell and passed the cup of water through the bars.

She managed to get closer to the bars, wincing with every movement. She held out her arms to him. He rolled up the sleeves of her robes and placed the cream on each of her arms. His long fingers traced it across her arms.

She gave him a grateful smile, "It won't fix my broken shoulder, but at least it'll clear up something."

"Thankfully. It was difficult getting it from the healer. I thought she was going to hit me before the end of the conversation." He said.

She gave a light laugh, "Sariah is like that."

He pulled away from her after a few moments, "I wish I could stay, but they'll notice I'm missing if I'm gone for too long."

"I understand. I really do appreciate your help." She responded.

"Anytime, Trev." He commented before heading back up the stairs.


	5. Chapter Four: Your Desire

_**Chapter Four: Your Desire**_

Wrath filled the room, radiating from one person. The Knight-Commander snapped at anyone who spoke. They didn't bother speaking after a few had been slapped across the face. Some had their fingers against their lips, biting their nails out of nervousness. Others bowed their heads, staring at the floor in disappointment or apology.

Arya Trevelyan had been in the prisons for years after they'd beaten her. She should have only lasted a few days or weeks. She wasn't in the healthiest condition, but she should have been a corpse. They should have made her tranquil after all. Perhaps that would be the conclusion the Knight-Commander came to. It was a matter of how she had survived. Blood magic was powerful; was it enough to keep someone alive for years in a prison cell? Had someone been helping her?

Datharian was seated next to Lance. He head his arms crossed against his chest. His eyes were filled with boiling rage. Lance on the other hand was one of the nervous ones trying to stop biting his nails. He wasn't only afraid of the Knight-Commander, but he was also afraid of someone figuring out he was the missing puzzle piece.

He'd known it would come to this and he'd decided it was worth the risk. What if they thought she was a blood mage though? They'd make her tranquil without hesitation this time. She was of age for the Harrowing and they had to decide whether or not they would allow her to test.

The Knight-Commander slammed his fist against the table and let out a growl, "Any opinions on what we should do with her?"

There were a few murmurs, but no one truly had a suggestion. That didn't make their authority figure any happier. Lance managed not to choke on his fear and cleared his throat, "Perhaps we should allow her to take the Harrowing? If she's not strong enough or a blood mage, she'd surely be turned into an abomination. If she does pass then she's earned her atonement for the deaths and a place as a mage. Either way her fate will be in our hands. She'll be struck down or closely watched."

Datharian gave him a confused look. He didn't give an input which Lance was thankful for. The other man merely thought he was an idiot. The Knight-Commander mulled over the idea for a few minutes. The air felt thick with suspense at this point. Lance bit his tongue, dreading the decision.

He finally heaved a reluctant sigh, "Very well. She'd better not survive something else that seems impossible."

With that he left the room, still grumbling under his breath. He didn't want her to have any chance at survival, but he seemed convinced she was a blood mage. He didn't think she could have survived any other way. She'd undoubtedly be turned into an abomination in his imagination.

Other Templars started to file out of the room as well. Some still lingered; they were reading reports or polishing their armor and weapons. A small smirk tugged at the corner of Datharian's lips, "He should be thankful she wasn't here for that discussion. She'd give a smart comment about being a survivor," his smirk turned into a frown without warning, "I don't know how she manages these things."

"She must have a nice guardian spirit watching her every movement." Lance commented back with a shrug. He was surprised the other man even mentioned her anymore. He'd given her the most pain after all.

"That honestly wouldn't surprise me." Datharian commented before leaving.

Lance had a feeling he knew something, but he wouldn't let on. Datharian was a master at disguising what was really going through his head. It made him a dangerous enemy. They were allies for now, but Lance sincerely hoped the man didn't figure out the truth behind Arya's survival.

* * *

><p>The last thing she remembered was a bright, blue-white glow. She could faintly hear the lecturing words in her head as well. Her surroundings were dark and horrid now. There was a chill across every inch of her skin despite being clad in robes. It gave her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.<p>

A lingering scent was in the air: a mixture of blood, acid, and sulfur. She could feel her vision spinning and felt the need to vomit. It took a few minutes to regain her composure. She held her breath as started to wander around. This was a dangerous task and she wasn't certain she was prepared for it.

Her feet carried her through the dead, yellow grass. Her guard was up, but she still felt on edge. She felt like a statue would come to life or a mountain would fall upon her. Nothing was safe in the Fade. It was filled with manipulation and the end.

Within a few minutes a group of four spirits surrounded her from nowhere. They had a green glow around them and were charging some sort of green electricity. Her eyes widened and a ring of fire surrounded her, the flames licking upwards from the ring. It set the spirits on fire and weakened them. She called upon bolts of lighting which rained down from the heavens beyond, finishing off the spirits.

She was relieved by the fact she hadn't been injured. There had been a moment she wanted to reach for her staff, but she knew it was gone. She hadn't been allowed to carry it with her. Those were weaker spirits as well. She'd find stronger ones the further she went along and things wouldn't be nearly as easy.

"Do you need some assistance?" A soft voice spoke from behind her.

The chill she felt was no longer from the atmosphere. She slowly turned around to find a woman staring back at her. That was strange considering she hadn't thought of finding humans in the Fade. Perhaps she was someone's soul that hadn't moved on. It was a possibility. "I...uh..." She wasn't quite sure how to respond.

A warm smile spread across the other woman's lips, "I believe a staff would be more useful than your bare hands. It's a dangerous place, the Fade."

"Right. Could you help me find a staff? Its absence does bother me." She responded, hoping the spirit or woman would know where to find one.

"Of course. You will need to engage in a duel to obtain one, but I don't think that will be a problem." She said and walked past Arya to lead the way.

It was silent as they walked up steep hills and winding paths. Disturbing cackles or screams could be heard in the distance from time to time. She decided she didn't want to know what that was. The silence was killing her on the other hand. "Do you have a name?" She questioned abruptly.

"Call me what you like. I normally go by Cat however. It's a comfortable form when I need to hide." She explained carefully.

"Very well, Cat. How did you end up here?" She continued.

"Much like yourself. I was thrown in here as a test, but I failed to finish in time and now I'm trapped here. It's a confusing place filled with horrors. I'd hate to see someone else end up this way." She said sadly.

They approached another spirit within time. This one seemed more calm and agreed to a duel quite easily. He drew out a spirit sword and swung at her. She moved back, barely dodging the blade in time. She called upon the element of ice to encase him for a few seconds as she commanded more lighting to strike.

The ice melted and he moved slowly, exhausted. He tried to lunge at her, but it didn't quite reach her as he reflexes were stiff. She smirked, knowing her triumph. She allowed a ball of flame to fly from her hand and impale the spirit.

He knelt down on one knee, "You have defeated me with honor and may take a staff as your prize. Use it well and keep your guard up."

Was every Harrowing this way? Why were the battles this easy? It shouldn't be simple. She feared to know what was ahead. It couldn't be good.

Cat smiled at her, proud to see she'd been proficient in battle. She didn't say anything, but continued to guide her through the Fade. There was a shriek of a despair demon after awhile and Cat signaled her behind a tree. The tree was dying which made it easy to spot them, but it gave them a moment to come up with a plan.

Not long enough it would seem as a bolt of continuous ice rammed into her. She could feel the ice encasing her body. Everything was cold and she couldn't move to defend herself.

Cat was surprised, but didn't allow that to stop her from acting. She took the shape of a tabby cat and launched herself at the demon. The demon fell and the line of ice was broken. Cat continued to swipe at its face and eventually clawed through its throat. It hadn't been able to fight back from the ground. It dissolved into a new location without a doubt. Arya doubted it was truly dead.

Cat turned back into her human form and looked at Arya with concern, "How do you think we should get you out of that?"

"Try some careful fire or hit it with a rock until it breaks, I suppose." She said and would have shrugged if she could.

Cat nodded and began scanning the area for a rock. She found a small one with jagged edges. Her hand wrapped around it and she brought it back. The sound of the rock hitting against ice made Arya want to cringe.

It took awhile, but the ice was mostly gone. Cat looked at the sky, "We need to hurry. You don't have much time."

The other woman led the way to an arena-like area, not far from where they had been beforehand. Rings of green fire aligned the arena. It reminded her of the spirits she encountered first. That wouldn't be much of a challenge. In the center she found a desire demon in its natural form. The purple-pink shades against the green would have been a nice sight if the colors didn't intend to shed her blood.

"Well, what have we here? Another lovely young mage come to keep me company?" The desire demon questioned with a laugh like a flowing river. It was peaceful, but Arya knew it carried menace.

"I don't think so." She said and tightened her grip on her staff.

The desire demon laughed again and started to glow a bright white. The next minute she saw Datharian standing in front of her. She narrowed her eyes, but the demon wouldn't give up. The demon walked around her a few times, speaking, "You know you miss the man he once was. The one you fell for. Normally you just like playing a flirtatious game, but oh, he was special."

She gritted her teeth. She didn't say anything. She was afraid to fall into the demon's trap somehow. The demon noticed her resistance and placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face upwards to pay attention. "You long for another passionate kiss or his warm breath against your neck as you fall asleep. Every night has been cold and lonely for so long."

The demon's lips pressed against hers, soft and warm, like Datharian's had been. It was some sort of illusion. She could only remember Datharian the way he had been at the beginning of their relationship. She couldn't recall an end or any anger directed towards him. It was a game that had exploited a weakness she didn't know was there. There was a block in her mind.

"Remember why you're here!" A voice shouted out to her.

Cat had managed to save her from a stupid mistake. The stupidest mistake she could have made. She pushed the demon away from her, suddenly remembering everything that had occurred in the past few years. She could feel the creep of furious blush crawling up her face. There shouldn't have been any feelings like that left. This had been a perfect display of how wrong she was.

The demon feigned a hurt look, "Such a shame there won't be any fun after all. Why bother helping, Cat? It's not even your problem to be involved with."  
>"I won't see another mage taken, especially not that easily." She growled back.<p>

Electricity sparked at her fingertips, forming into a sphere of energy. Arya launched the spell into the desire demon's chest. There was a shout of surprise and pain. The demon growled and allowed her fingers to dance, creating a bond between them with a spell. It was draining Arya's energy to help the demon survive.

Arya's face contorted into an expression of anger. She allowed the anger to fuel the heat of her flames. The flames wrapped around the demon and burned through the skin. There was a wail of agony and the demon slumped to the ground, defeated.

Arya allowed a bolt of energy from her staff to hit the demon one last time before it disappeared. Cat turned to look at her with a wide grin, "That was quite a show. You did it!"

"I see you didn't help," Arya commented with a frown, "I don't think that was my true test either."

Cat titled her head to the side in confusion, "What else would be your test?"  
>Arya remained silent, waiting for the truth to reveal itself. Cat allowed a laugh to escape that sounded much like the demon's had. Her eyes glowed a bright pink then her form took on the white glow. The next thing Arya knew, she was looking at a mirror image of herself. She narrowed her eyes.<p>

"What do you want from me?" She questioned with bitterness in her tone.

"It's not entirely what I want. In fact, I think we could come to a mutual agreement." Cat responded calmly.

She didn't respond, but Cat knew she was listening. A small smile spread across her lips, "Here's what I propose: you see I'm quite comfortable with your form, you are a beautiful woman after all. We share your beauty and I help you accomplish what you really want. Some demons play the trick of love, but I can see you're not truly concerned with that aspect of your life. What you want is to escape. Escape from the things that haunt you and the prison you're trapped in. I could get you out. You could run to Tevinter and have power there. You'd never have to deal with the Chantry's imprisonment again. You could be one of the powerful mages. You could have anything you wanted with my help. What do you say?"

"You do paint a pretty picture." Arya replied.

It might have been a pretty picture, but trusting a demon wasn't. She didn't like the idea of being stuck together until she ended up an abomination or something else. It was disturbing to think of the possibilities.

She shook her head, "No deal on the other hand. I think I can shape my life just fine."

Cat gave a sad smile, "Truly? Very well then. You've passed your test. Hold on to your wit, you'll need it."

* * *

><p>Her head was pounding when she woke. She'd been accepted as a mage, though reluctantly, the day before. Some Templars stared at her with seething hatred. It wasn't much of a doubt that they had been there for her torture. Those were the only ones that had something against her. Mages were surprised to see her again. They thought she'd died in the cells.<p>

She buried her face in her hands, rubbing her temples, trying to get the headache to stop. The light was blinding. She must have fallen asleep by accident considering it wasn't dark. It was typically difficult to sleep with the lanterns still lit.

There was a light knock on the door. She grunted in pain since everything sounded magnified, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal the visitor as Lance. She raised an eyebrow in surprise. Templars weren't supposed to visit the mages, but maybe there was an exception since she'd just passed her Harrowing. He frowned noticing her pain, "Sorry. Did you want me to come back later?"

"No, it's fine. It's just a headache. I can manage." She insisted.

He closed the door behind him. He didn't like people listening in on his conversations. Grabbing the chair from her desk, he slid it over and sat down to face her. "How does it feel to be out of those cells? You've even got a new title to go with it."

"It's not much of a difference, but at least I have my own room now. It feels weird to actually have a bed again and the people stare too much for my liking." She shrugged.

"It will take awhile to adjust. I'm glad to see you survived. I'm the one who persuaded them not to make you tranquil." He said with a slight blush creeping up.

She smiled, "I appreciate it. I'm only surprised they listened."

"Believe me, I'm surprised as well."

They were silent for what seemed like hours. It was nice to have company, but it was awkward all the same. Arya felt guilty as she said it, "I know I shouldn't talk about the Harrowing, but I doubt it matters a great deal to a Templar. There was a desire demon that took Datharian's form. I thought I didn't care."

Lance frowned, he didn't like hearing something like that. He nodded in understanding though, "Perhaps it's not that you care, but you have unfinished business. You two never actually talked about what happened. It's obvious you don't have feelings for him since you haven't thought about it in awhile."

She nodded, accepting that answer, "That would make more sense. Perhaps I should talk to him about it even though I don't want to."

"I'll come with you if you're afraid." Lance offered. He didn't want to see her get hurt again.

"I'd appreciate it." She agreed.

They were close friends despite everything that had happened. She didn't want his help or company for months after what the Templars had done to her. It had simply been a reluctant agreement to survive. She'd opened up slowly and now it was a strong bond. It might have been strange to some people, but they had known each other for most of each other's lives.

He felt a little guilty for harboring feelings for her. She hadn't even picked up on it by the way she said things, especially bringing up Datharian now. It made him feel a little jealous even though she had no feelings for him left. The thought of their previous relationship left him bitter and disappointed sometimes. It might have been over, but she had been happy with him. How could he ever make her happy like that? How could he even expect a forbidden relationship to work? Those relationships never worked.

Arya tilted her head in curiosity, "Are you alright? You seem a little distracted?"

He shook his head, escaping his thoughts, "I'm fine."  
>He hadn't been convincing, but she didn't pressure him. He got up from the chair and pushed it back to the desk. "I should probably be going before they notice I'm gone though."<p>

She nodded in understanding. She gave him a smile of gratitude for coming and helping with her situation. He smiled back before leaving, gently closing the door behind him. She decided to get some more sleep in hopes of curing her pounding head.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean that bitch is still alive?" Audrey snarled as she paced the floor.<p>

"Exactly what I said. She survived living in a cell somehow." Datharian responded with his hands in a gesture of 'I don't know how.'

The elven woman was boiling with a rage he hadn't seen in years. It always resulted back to the same problem: Arya Trevelyan. He still didn't truly understand her hatred towards the other woman. She eventually stopped pacing and knocked a glass bottle off of the desk. It landed on the stone floor with a crash and glass particles slid around everywhere.

Datharian sighed, "What's the problem now?"

Audrey had her hands clenched in fists at this point, "You know if she were to get out of this Circle she could be sitting on a pile of gold while servants waited on her hand and foot. If I weren't here I'd be lucky to survive. I'd be left in the cold while starving. She was spoiled before she came here and she'll always be a rich brat underneath it all."

"Are you crazy? She's just like the rest of you." Datharian retorted.

"Is she really? I've seen nothing aside from privilege towards her. Until you decided to cut her face that is, but she'll probably be put on a pedestal again." She commented back.

He didn't have anything to respond with. She had a point, but he wasn't sure if that was the true reason behind her hatred or not. Audrey had a temper and never seemed to be consistent. He sat back in the chair, waiting for her to continue with her rage.

He was surprised when unexpected tears started falling from her eyes instead. Her body was shaking and she searched the room for a cloth to dry her eyes with. Datharian got up from his chair and put an arm around her to calm her. He found a clean cloth and handed it to her. She started to wipe the tears from her eyes, staining the cloth with water until it dried. He looked at her with genuine concern, "What's wrong?"

It obviously wasn't tears from anger. That didn't happen often with Audrey. It was sorrow that shone in her eyes and it made Datharian feel like he'd done something terribly wrong somehow. That wasn't the case at all. "I miss them so much," She muttered with agony filling every word.

Of course talking about Arya would bring back the reminder of loss. He knew she tried to forget about it, but it was something that took too long to forget and sometimes people didn't forget at all. He held her closer to give her the comfort she needed, "I know you do. I wish you could see them again."

She buried her face against his armor clad chest. He allowed her to stay there with her sobbing. It was hard to imagine what losing a child would feel like, but losing a lover was something he could somewhat relate to. Losing both seemed like agony without an end.

She could still remember her sons wailing after he was born. She could picture his face and how small he had been. He had been healthy and her heart had swollen with joy. That joy ended almost as soon as it had come.

She hadn't even been allowed to hold him. They took him away minutes after he had been born. They told her not to get remotely attached. How could you not be attached? They had dared to ask her to give him a name after taking him away as well.

_Uriah._

She had given him a name, but knew not if he'd even be called such. He'd be trapped in a Circle for the rest of his life unless he'd gotten lucky by some strange chance. She doubted it. It made her tear up every night. It was all she thought about.

"You won't have to see her. I'll make sure of that." Datharian promised.

"Thank you. I can't handle this anymore." She whispered.


	6. Chapter Five: Spiral

**Chapter Five: Spiral**

Her breath was caught in her throat. It didn't seem like the best idea, but at least Lance would be there if she needed protection. Her feet carried her at a slow pace. Each possibility of how the conversation could go over filled her with dread. How would Datharian solve anything anyway? He had caused too many problems already.

She rounded the corner to the library where he was on duty. Thankfully there were a few people there studying. That should prevent him from losing his temper or getting out of control. He was good at playing the part though, so that shouldn't even be much of a concern. That thought was reassuring enough for her breathing to return to normal.

The hairs along her arms stood on end out of nervousness or fear as she approached. Her body was positioned far enough away he couldn't touch her, but close enough to make it obvious she wanted his attention. He raised an eyebrow. His eyes were filled with a mixture of curiosity and distrust. "What do you want?" He folded his arms across his chest.

"I came to talk." She said dumbly.

"About what? I'm sure it's not about how you managed to survive a few years in a cell with little to no contact." His comment was bitter.

She rolled her eyes and brushed off his bitterness, "Of course it isn't. I want to know why you did what you did."

She was trying to be discreet in case anyone overheard. He knew what he was guilty of. It was the only thing he'd ever done to harm her. It seemed like a random act and that hurt more than a reason in an odd way.

He heaved a sigh, "Do you really want to know? It's not the sort of answer you want."

"I don't think there's any answer a woman wants to hear as to why her lover did something so horrid." She said with distaste.

He flinched at her tone. Perhaps he should have thought about a comment like that flying in his direction before he took any action. He chewed at his bottom lip for awhile, contemplating what he was going to tell her. Was he actually going to lie about? She didn't have the best temper and a lie would set her off. He knew that.

"I was threatened with death as my punishment for being romantically involved with a mage. I wasn't keen on the idea of dying, so I took the other option." He said shortly.

She narrowed her eyes, her eyebrows drawing closer together, "What was the other option?"

"I could inflict a gruesome sort of pain upon you that you would remember for the rest of your life in return for a promotion. There was the idea of throwing you in the prisons to die, which I didn't come up with before you get carried away, and I thought you wouldn't have to live with that memory and scar for long."

Was he trying to defend himself? That made her skin crawl. He was like the other Templars after all. They weren't kind underneath a rough exterior. They were manipulative and cold. How could she have been foolish enough to believe any of them would care for mages? No. Maybe some truly did. It wasn't right to throw them all in the same category.

"Fantastic. You wanted me to die in agony in order for you to get a raise in power. Sounds like you're just insane after all." She retorted.

He shook his head, "You are impossible to talk to."

"I happen to like it that way." She turned on her heel and left. She didn't want to hear anything else from him.

The answers she'd received didn't make things better, but at least she had them. Maybe she could move on without wondering what the real purpose behind that incident was now. Her conscious still wasn't entirely clear. There was no doubt an enemy would use her Circle life against her at some point. Plenty of misfortunes had happened after all. The other question hanging in the air being who had turned her over in the first place? That was a question she didn't particularly want answered.

Her feet had taken her to a corridor without her noticing. It was a nice place to get a moment's peace at least. It wouldn't last long in the Circle, but she needed to clear her head. She could feel the anger boiling inside her over a confession of betrayal. You think you know someone, care for someone, and they don't feel the same. It was sickening.

Lance had followed her out of the library and stood a few feet away in the corridor. It wasn't surprising he'd come after her so quickly. A moment's peace had literally been a moment. If she hadn't been angry she might have laughed at the irony.

"How are you feeling?" He questioned gently. He hadn't overheard any of the conversation.

She shook her head, "How could he do something like that for a position of power? Why would you hurt someone you care about for that? Why is it more important?"

They were good questions. They were simply questions that would probably never be answered. It didn't make sense, yet it happened frequently. Lance wanted to hold her while she was upset. He knew he couldn't however, so he kept his distance.

They remained in the corridor for awhile. The silence hung over them. Arya was trying to calm down and he was keeping watch to ensure she didn't receive punishment for being away from the other mages. They kept them in spaces together like cattle. It seemed ridiculous at times.

Eventually she'd calmed down enough to start making her way back to the library. She thought studying might help clear her head and hoped she could ignore Datharian. Lance held out a hand to touch her arm, signaling her to stop for a moment. She turned to look at him in surprise.

His hand fell back to his side, "I was wondering if we could talk later about something important?"

He hadn't been specific, but she didn't pressure him for an answer. "Sure. You know where to find me."

A sigh of relief escaped him and he gave a quick smile before returning to duty. She watched him leave wondering what was so important? Did he know who had turned her in? Was he going to give her more bad news? She prayed that wasn't the case.

* * *

><p>He'd taken her to one of the fairly larger rooms in the Circle. It was well lit and Chantry priests littered the room rather than mages and Templars. Rows of benches faced what looked like a podium. A statue of Andraste towered in a corner next to bookshelves.<p>

She glanced at him with genuine surprise, "Why here?"

"It seemed peaceful. I thought it might calm my nerves, but I guess I was wrong." He chuckled.

She stayed quiet, allowing him to gather his thoughts and calm down. She knew it might take awhile, but she didn't mind. He hadn't been clear on the reasoning for this discussion in the first place. It could be something major or silly.

He looked around to ensure no one was being nosy before saying anything, "I wanted to tell you why I helped you in that cell."

That couldn't be good. He had only helped her, so she knew it wasn't simply out of the kindness of his heart. He wanted something. People always wanted something. She only wanted to avoid that something being destructive.

She signaled for him to go on. He nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat, "You're a smart woman. I'm certain you've thought of a million reasons and the true reason probably crossed your mind more than once. I've known you for years and I don't want this to be uncalled for, but I've been attracted to you for awhile. I know you only want a friendship, don't worry about a thoughtful rejection. I only wanted to tell you myself. You won't have to doubt it and I can say I finally got it off my chest."

She blinked a few times, her mind still registering what he'd said. No wonder he had been so nervous. She gave him a reassuring smile, "I appreciate your courage to tell me, Lance. I don't want to sound offensive, but I am happy with our friendship. Please tell me you didn't help me simply because of your attraction though."

"No, nothing like that. It was a motivation, but it was more of our friendship. I know you're a capable mage and I honestly don't expect you to stay in this Circle forever. You'll find a way out. Just don't forget me, okay?"

Something seemed to be weighing heavily on his mind. People didn't make those comments for no reason; there was something bigger going on that she was unaware of. She wanted to ask, but she knew he wouldn't give an answer. The curiosity got the better of her, "Why do you say that?"

"It's something I thought should be said, nothing more. Don't get too curious, Trev. I know how you are," He stood up, "Now that I've made a fool of myself, I need some time alone."

He knew there wouldn't be anything between them. There was still pain from a verbal rejection rather than the one that played in his head. She started to protest, but he walked away before she could. It was better if the conversation ended before either of them said something stupid.

"That was the shortest and most awkward conversation of confession I've ever been part of." She muttered to herself.

She stood up from the bench and started to leave. She stopped at the doorway and turned around however. The Circle hadn't caused her to lose her faith and now was a good time to show that openly. The looks from the Chantry priests would be entertaining no doubt.

She knelt in front of the statue of Andraste to give her prayer. She was quiet with her words, seeking an understanding of what was going on and to find her inner strength. She had been feeling worthless over the past few years and hadn't been receiving any training. How would she be a proper mage that way? Perhaps the Maker would guide her somehow. She knew what the Chantry taught them, but she had a belief that mages weren't a stain on the world.

She finished her prayer and left the room. A small smile had crept upon her lips at the shocked look from the priests. Their opinions were so predictable.

* * *

><p>Sleep didn't come easily. There had been too much to think about. A few simple conversations shouldn't bog your mind like they did. She groaned as she tossed to her other side again.<p>

Why hadn't things been simple? Why hadn't she been like the rest of her family? No magic and a nice position in the Chantry would've been easier. Instead she was locked in a tower for her entire life and told constantly how the Maker hated her. Cheery.

The only person she had been romantically involved with turned out to be a power-hungry monster willing to mutilate the people closest to him to obtain that power. If that didn't scar your mentality on relationships she wasn't certain what would. Perhaps she should avoid romance for awhile, maybe even forever. No, forever was ridiculous. Too much of a stretch. She would heal over time. That's what she was going to work for at least.

Then there was Lance who had feelings for her while trying to keep up an average friendship. The fact he had put that in the open, their friendship wouldn't be the same. They both knew that. It was almost infuriating he had decided to take that step. She was proud of him for admitting it at the same time. Most people bit their tongues and didn't understand why the affection wasn't returned. Or became angry over unrequited love.

The other comment he had made puzzled her more than the rest. Why did he expect her to get out of the Circle? You were basically condemned for life the moment they threw you in and took your blood. She was chained metaphorically and literally. There didn't seem to be an escape and she knew the Templars were watching her more closely than they ever had. Escaping wasn't an option.

Was something else going on? Were the Circles going to be destroyed? That was too much to hope for. If they were going to lead a rebellion she wanted to be part of it, even if it got her killed. Perhaps that would happen. It seemed crazy, but maybe someone had finally stood up for mage freedom.

She almost laughed at the idea. The Chantry would stop them before that happened. It was a pity mages couldn't be treated like human beings. They were treated as plagued objects instead. Mages were treated like slaves in a sense. Average people didn't see it. They had no allies.

She rolled over to her other side again. It was going to be an all-night event. No sleep due to stress and anger. Wonderful. She wished she had an actual home of her own. She could fix up a potion in no time. Instead Templars were everywhere and she'd have to settle for blurry vision and forgetting when she fell asleep while studying.

She sighed and pulled the blankets closer to her. Why did things have to be complicated? Mages were a force to be feared, but they didn't have to be abused for it. If she had a say so they could train at schools instead of being locked away. That was a fantasy world not enough people shared. There wouldn't be any pleasant thoughts throughout the night.


	7. Chapter Six: Fallen

_**Chapter Six: Fallen**_

Arya's eyes opened with alarm. Her heart was beating rapidly and sweat coated her skin. Was it a dream? She sat up, waiting in silence for a signal as to whether she had been dreaming or if something was going on.

Cries of agony and surprise could be heard from the other side of the door. The crackle of flames and clank of swords could also be heard. She pushed the sheets aside and quietly made her way to the door, opening it slightly, afraid to see what was on the other side.

Templars drove their swords through the mages' hearts or slashed across their throats. Mages cast protective barriers, fireballs, and ice walls. Fresh blood streamed across the stone floor. She felt her heart drop to her stomach. It was the most sickening thing she had ever seen.

One of the Templars noticed she was peering from the door. He came flying at the door and she slammed it shut. It only gave her a second of time before he opened the door and was swinging his sword around.

She cast a blaze of fire in his direction. His screamed as his armor and flesh caught fire. The smell was awful, but he couldn't defend himself. Within a few minutes the last of his life left him. She heaved a sigh of relief and made her way to the battle, thankful she hadn't changed from her robes when she'd fallen asleep the night before.

"Glad to see you've joined us." One of the other mages, Juniper, commented.

Juniper's face was streaked with her own blood and sweat caused strands of her hair to cling to her face. She looked grim and hit one of the Templars with her staff. She was obviously exhausted and running out of mana.

Arya caused shards of ice to sprout up from the floor and cut through the Templar. More blood splattered and their sword fell. She didn't hesitate to pick up the sword. She'd need other means of fighting if she ran out of mana.

"What's going on? Why are they attacking?" She asked the other woman.

"Welcome to war." Juniper didn't elaborate, but she understood what she was saying.

The Mage-Templar War had finally started. It wasn't too surprising, but there hadn't been any warning either. Innocent lives would be lost and no one would care. Mages were on the run while Templars became more violent than ever.

"Fantastic." She said sarcastically through gritted teeth.

More blades protruded through mages. They slumped to the floor after the last gasp of breath escaped them. Spells of fire, storm, ice, and spirit soared through the air. Most spells hit the armed enemies precisely and took down most of them.

While the battle continued heatedly and the Templars were distracted, Arya and Juniper made their way towards the door that would lead to the staircase. Their footsteps were quiet against the stone steps. There was nervous energy around them as they held their breath, hoping to escape.

The moment they reached the end of the staircase a blade drove its way through Juniper's chest. The Templar removed the sword and Juniper's lifeless body fell to the floor. Arya's eyes widened with shock, but it didn't prevent her from keeping her guard up.

She lifted the sword she had stolen and parried the Templar's blade. He grunted and his eyes narrowed with anger. He swung an arc at the same moment she sent a bolt of lightning through his chest. He fell to the floor next to Juniper, sparks still running through his body.

She heaved a sigh of relief then knelt next to the mage's corpse. "I'm so sorry. May the Maker welcome you to his side."

She didn't have time to remain there in mourning. She stood up and continued to make her way to the tower's exit as quickly as she could. Her breath was shallow and she didn't have much mana left. She cursed herself mentally as she ran, but was thankful she'd thought to bring a sword.

The corridors downstairs were empty. Bodies littered the floor and blood stained the long carpets. No one remained which made a wave of fear wash over her. What was around the corner? Had they all made their way upstairs?

She hesitantly made her way around the corner. Her grip tightened on the hilt of the sword. She whispered another spell under her breath which caused the blade to become enchanted with fire. A smirk formed on her lips despite the situation.

More mages than Templars had found their way to the large room. The large wooden doors that led to the outside world were in sight. She could feel her heart skip a beat. Would the mages be successful after all? It was almost too much to hope for.

Gurgles of bloody words could be heard from mages falling. Armor hitting stone could be heard from Templars falling. It was a mess that shouldn't have happened, but had been inevitable.

The only thing that stopped her from making her way to the doors was a familiar face. Lance.

She wanted to scream, but it caught in her throat. One of the mages cast a spell and caused a shard of ice to take his life. It was horrific. The man that had saved her life and loved her no longer lived; she'd done nothing to stop it.

Hot tears stung her eyes. He had been the last Templar in the room. He had been her last surviving friend.

"Trevelyan? Thank the Maker you made it. No one's with you?" One of the younger mages frowned, looking concerned at her tears.

"No. Juniper was with me, but she...she was killed." She commented back through the pain.

The younger mage cursed under his breath. "Hardly anyone survived. We're going to find refuge though. Come on."

The younger mage started to lead the way to the doors. It was escape. It was freedom.

She was almost reluctant to leave now. Beyond those doors would be a miserable and lonely existence. Her family hated her and her friends were dead. She dropped the flaming sword to the floor and followed the other mages outside.

She would survive. She would find a new life.


End file.
